Never "Try Harder"

Try Shaping Your Environment Instead

One of the core principles of Making Rules Matter is: never try harder. Literally. Never use “trying harder” as a strategy.

This applies in two directions.

If you want to get something done and you’re not relaxed and confident it’s going to happen, don’t rely on internal capacities—memory, discipline, confidence, creativity, vulnerability—to get things done.

And if you want someone else to get something done, never rely on your assessment of their internal capacities either.

When internal capacities are your strategy, failure becomes personal. The task didn’t fail—you did. Or the other person did.

That’s why this is an important design principle. It makes performance less personal.

Note: The exception is when building the capacity is itself the goal. If you’re trying to develop willpower or courage, that's a legitimate project—but it’s a different project, with a different design. That’s not what I’m talking about.

What to Do Instead

Instead of making it all about internal capacities, shape the environment.

The environment can be material: setting an alarm, putting healthier food options on an easy-to-reach shelf, etc.

Or it can be social: make an explicit agreement with someone, clarify an expectation, etc.

Either way, you’re putting something outside the person to work on the problem—so you don’t have to depend on the right version of them to show up at the right moment.

I’ve written before about the shame of structures—the slightly embarrassing feeling of admitting you need an alarm clock or a written agreement, as if needing a tool is evidence of some personal failure.

That feeling is part of the problem.

Conclusion

The goal isn’t to expect less. It’s to stop pretending force alone is enough. So, be a little easier on yourself and other people.

More willpower or discipline is not a strategy. It’s what you fall back on when you don’t have one.

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